Marriage Counseling can Hurt a Good Marriage

There are some people in the world who are never satisfied; they want to find every little flaw and defect wherever they are.  Frankly, those are the people I want to have building spaceships and bridges; don't you?  But those good folks need to understand there is a time and a place for everything.  The perfectionist type can drive all but the very patient crazy; especially those who do not leave room for other people's opinions.

The perfectionist type can be found in both genders equally.  Thankfully, it is very rare for perfectionist types to come together in marriage.  Usually the perfectionist type attracts someone who is patient, if not apathetic.  These types rarely rest until everything in their lives is in perfect order.  They cannot even walk into a room without noticing some flaw or another.  These types supply marriage counselors with plenty of business.  They are never satisfied with some aspect or other of their relationship.  Rather than focusing on what is good, they bring this useful trait for other parts of their lives into their marriage relationship thinking it will be useful there too; it usually isn't.  In fact it is 99% destructive in marriages.

The unfortunate reality about marriage counseling is that it generally leads to divorce.  Freudian-trained marriage counselors are trained to give therapy for various psychological ills.  In a few cases the therapy they offer is useful.  But marriages never need therapy; couples merely need information.  Most couples who run into trouble in their marriage do so for a very simple reason: they didn't know what they were doing.  If couples learn what a marriage is and how to function in it, 98% of them will do just fine. 

Contrary to popular belief, marriage does not require work and does not produce suffering when the couples know what they are doing.

What a couple needs to know in order to have a successfully happy or happily successful marriage is simple and easy to learn.  Of course there are those who would love to make a huge business out of helping couples stay happy; I don't care for those people.  To me those are people who are like those who would sell air, oil or water; it's just not right.  In the years to come the knowledge of how to be happily married will be taught in public schools.  Children will learn about gender differences and responsible human interactions.  They will also learn about the unique requirements for marriage including marital loyalty, respect, support and communication.

If your marriage is good but not great you will do more for you and your spouse by learning from my  Lessons For A Happy Marriage than by going to see a marriage counselor.  Marriage counseling always starts by looking for the flaws.  You already know your spouse's flaws!  Now you need to learn to appreciate them and your family while you learn how to make your marriage even better.